Sam invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Sam's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Sam and his roommate and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Sam and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Sam volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to Sam and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Sam said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So, he sat down and wrote, "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But, the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, Sam received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But, the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."
Lesson of the day: Don't lie to your mother.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Walk it out!
I have this friend who emails me crazy and wacky video clips every now and then. They always manage to make me crack a smile n matter how I was feeling at that particular time. So I thought I would upload them on youtube and then share them with you guys so that you will have one more thing to smile at... hopefully...
This video is about walking buns/glutes...
This video is about walking buns/glutes...
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Flight Announcements
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the, "In-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
1. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."
2. Pilot... "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land... it's a bit cold outside and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.
4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
6. From a Southwest Airlines employee... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.
In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.
7. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more, than Southwest Airlines."
8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."
9. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
10. "Last one off the plane must clean it."
11. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...!
12. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the Captain had really fought to get the plane down. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome toAmarillo
13. Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline."
He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I as you a question?"
"Why no, Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. Once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.
16. Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today and the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."
1. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."
2. Pilot... "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land... it's a bit cold outside and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.
4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
6. From a Southwest Airlines employee... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.
In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.
7. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more, than Southwest Airlines."
8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."
9. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
10. "Last one off the plane must clean it."
11. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...!
12. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the Captain had really fought to get the plane down. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to
13. Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline."
He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I as you a question?"
"Why no, Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. Once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.
16. Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today and the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Kids ideas on love and marriage
- "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7
- "Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." -- John, age 9
- "I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8
- "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9
- "Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8
- "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." -- Tom, age 5
- "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -- Mike, 10
- "I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when Dinosaurs is on television." -- Jill, age 6
- "One of the people has freckles, and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." -- Andrew, age 6
- "My mother says to look for a man who is kind. That's what I'll do. I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -- Carolyn, age 8
- "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -- Kenny, age 7
- "One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." -- Ava, age 8
- "When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced.'" -- Anita, 9
- "I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." --
- "Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than once to find a live one." -- Angie, age 10
- "A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases together." -- Marlon, age 10
- "[Being] single is better . . . for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd figure something out. I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing." -- Kirsten, age 10
- "Love is foolish...but I still might try it sometime." -- Floyd, age 9
- "Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." -- Dave, age 8
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Cat Walking on the Zebra Crossing!
Yeah... cool heading isn't it? But that's about it. It really has no bearing on anything that I actually did... just something I was thinking about today. So let me write about how I came to write that heading.
I was walking home after working an eight hour shift. I was tired, I was sleepy. I was walking and listening to music on my ipod. So really the outside world did not have too much an effect on me. That is until I came to the crossing.
Now this is a very big road with lots of traffic flowing in both directions. You have to press the signal button and wait fifteen minutes before it will allow you to cross. Of course I'm exaggarating here a bit. It wasn't fifteen minutes... more like fourteen and a half... but the point is you have to wait there till the green man lights up. Only then can you cross.
SO the green man comes on and I start across the zebra crossing. Which is when I notice all the cars that are stopped on the side of the crossing. I also notice all the people in those cars. But mostly I notice all those eyes staring at me.
Now I am not very comfortable being stared at. I can honestly say that I don't like it. If I had to chose between being stared at by a dozen eyes and fighting a hungry lion in a colloseum... I would chose the lion. (Of course these days there are no more colloseums, and if you let a lion go hungry for any amount of time, PETA will be more than ready to cut you into pieces and feed you to the said lion.)
When people stare at me, I get all self conscious and then of course I start to do weird stuff. Well, not weird per se, but stuff that you wouldn't expect from a normal person at any normal time. In this instance, I ran down the crossing!
Yes, that doesn't sound too weird now, does it? But that street can be crossed by a normal stroll in about half a minute. For me I think it took five seconds. And I was really nervous when I reached the other side. (Why did Khuscen cross the road? To get away from the eyes that were staring at him...)
Anyways that was when I started to think that it would have been funny if I had strutted my stuff like a model on a cat walk on that crossing and really given those eyes something to gawk at.
And that is when I realised the amazing similarity between a zebra crossing and a cat walk in that they are both named after an animal. In the case of a catwalk, I think it is something about the way a catwalks that is copied by a model to show off her... stuff. And a zebra crossing is... ah... stripes on the road... stripes on the zebra...
Anyways cool heading eh?
I was walking home after working an eight hour shift. I was tired, I was sleepy. I was walking and listening to music on my ipod. So really the outside world did not have too much an effect on me. That is until I came to the crossing.
Now this is a very big road with lots of traffic flowing in both directions. You have to press the signal button and wait fifteen minutes before it will allow you to cross. Of course I'm exaggarating here a bit. It wasn't fifteen minutes... more like fourteen and a half... but the point is you have to wait there till the green man lights up. Only then can you cross.
SO the green man comes on and I start across the zebra crossing. Which is when I notice all the cars that are stopped on the side of the crossing. I also notice all the people in those cars. But mostly I notice all those eyes staring at me.
Now I am not very comfortable being stared at. I can honestly say that I don't like it. If I had to chose between being stared at by a dozen eyes and fighting a hungry lion in a colloseum... I would chose the lion. (Of course these days there are no more colloseums, and if you let a lion go hungry for any amount of time, PETA will be more than ready to cut you into pieces and feed you to the said lion.)
When people stare at me, I get all self conscious and then of course I start to do weird stuff. Well, not weird per se, but stuff that you wouldn't expect from a normal person at any normal time. In this instance, I ran down the crossing!
Yes, that doesn't sound too weird now, does it? But that street can be crossed by a normal stroll in about half a minute. For me I think it took five seconds. And I was really nervous when I reached the other side. (Why did Khuscen cross the road? To get away from the eyes that were staring at him...)
Anyways that was when I started to think that it would have been funny if I had strutted my stuff like a model on a cat walk on that crossing and really given those eyes something to gawk at.
And that is when I realised the amazing similarity between a zebra crossing and a cat walk in that they are both named after an animal. In the case of a catwalk, I think it is something about the way a catwalks that is copied by a model to show off her... stuff. And a zebra crossing is... ah... stripes on the road... stripes on the zebra...
Anyways cool heading eh?
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Actual Entries on hospital charts - part 2
I somehow only posted half of the entries in that list. so here's the rest...
16. Occasional constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit
on the abdomen, and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29. Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.
16. Occasional constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit
on the abdomen, and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29. Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Actual Entries on hospital charts
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
Friday, March 09, 2007
A video from the past
I was searching for maldvian videos on youtube and look what I came across...
This video is from 1990 when I was but eleven years old and the school kids feature here, I think were from the same grade as me... I am not sure... They are definitelt from the same school and if it was 1990 then they were in same grade as well... I recognise only one of them - Dhonbulhaa hehehe. Dont know her real name and dont know where she is now, but she was in the class next to mine at the time.
Anyways hope you enjoy this video and enjoy any memories that might be dredged up by the association. I know i have.. thanx to the dude who uploaded this video.
This video is from 1990 when I was but eleven years old and the school kids feature here, I think were from the same grade as me... I am not sure... They are definitelt from the same school and if it was 1990 then they were in same grade as well... I recognise only one of them - Dhonbulhaa hehehe. Dont know her real name and dont know where she is now, but she was in the class next to mine at the time.
Anyways hope you enjoy this video and enjoy any memories that might be dredged up by the association. I know i have.. thanx to the dude who uploaded this video.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Sick Notes
These are real notes written by parents in a Tennessee school district...(spellings have been left intact.)
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the sh**s. [note: words in ( )'s were crossed out] .
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being.It was his father's fault.
15. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer fo! R missing school yesterday. We
forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever,sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
My favourite is number 14 lol...
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre, dyrea, direathe), the sh**s. [note: words in ( )'s were crossed out] .
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being.It was his father's fault.
15. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer fo! R missing school yesterday. We
forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever,sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
My favourite is number 14 lol...
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
New Spidey 3 footage online
NBC.com has a new clip from the movie which is going to premier in 57 days. I just watching it and I honestly have to say that if I had not been hooked on this movie before then I definitely am now. Go there to watch it now...
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Oh, but to write...
I know I want to write. I have started writing many times. But it only goes as far as a few lines and I hit a dead end. I just cannot seem to be getting anywhere so I give up. This has been going on for the past month or so. You may have noticed the lack of any real posts on my blog. I have posted a couple of jokes that I found whilst in my foraging aroung the wide world of the web and these have garnered more comments than any of my actual writing. But then again I am not doing this for the comments.
The real reason for my blog is and always has been because I have had an avid interest in stringing words together into sentences. And then the sentences into paragraphs and so on and so forth. My actual goal would be in putting together a short story, a novella, a novel - and not necessarily n that particular order. I just want to get published. But then I do not have any hope in getting any of my stories published when in fact I don't have written any yet.
So this blog was first started as a practice ground for my writing. I planned to write lots and lots. I have also written many times on how I plan to write lots and lots. This being one of those times.
Anyways I have all these ideas and plotlines and stuff rolling around in my head that does need to come out. They have been screaming at me everyday to let them out and I have already started on the actual paperwork that is necessary for these things to be let out of their prison. But you know how it is with all the red tape... so do not expect these to be posted her enytime soon. One day... One fine day...
The real reason for my blog is and always has been because I have had an avid interest in stringing words together into sentences. And then the sentences into paragraphs and so on and so forth. My actual goal would be in putting together a short story, a novella, a novel - and not necessarily n that particular order. I just want to get published. But then I do not have any hope in getting any of my stories published when in fact I don't have written any yet.
So this blog was first started as a practice ground for my writing. I planned to write lots and lots. I have also written many times on how I plan to write lots and lots. This being one of those times.
Anyways I have all these ideas and plotlines and stuff rolling around in my head that does need to come out. They have been screaming at me everyday to let them out and I have already started on the actual paperwork that is necessary for these things to be let out of their prison. But you know how it is with all the red tape... so do not expect these to be posted her enytime soon. One day... One fine day...
Monday, February 26, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Worms
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.
Lesson:
As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.
Lesson:
As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
A rare medical condition
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you ok?"
"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition - whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"
The woman nodded, "Yes... Pepper."
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Family Additions
My little brother got married on the 30th of December. I attended the ceremony in spirit if not physically. I have not met my sister in law though I have chatted to her online. I asked for pictures, lots of pictures to be sent immediately to my email. Immediately of course is open to interpretation.
A month passed before i got any pictures. And the four that my brother sent me after taking some time off from his busy, busy schedule was great pictures but left me wanting for more. It has been nearly three years since I last saw any of my family in person. The only way to see them was pictures sent electronically whenever the busy siblings could find the time to send them to me.
Last night however after weeks of pleading my littlest sister managed to send me a lot of pictures from the wedding day and party. It really blew me away. The bride's side of course are all new to me. There were a great many of them and now I gues they are part of my extended family. In a place like Male' I must have seen them at least once so there were a couple of familiar faces though I could not put a name to them.
On the groom's side however, I saw a lot of my most favourite people and their other halves. Two of my cousins got married while I was over here but this was the first time that I actually saw a clear picture of them. Ajoo has started wearing burugaa as well and looked quite beautiful. Almost didnt recognise my aunt. She has changed a bit. Naazuku also looked very different from the skinny, gawky little girl I had last seen. She does not look skinny any more. I guess the new boyfriend is good for her then hehehe.
The bride and groom looked really happy. My brother has always had this way of making everybody around them feel at ease. He is everyone's favourite. In almost all the pictures he is holding hands with everyone. My mom, aunt and cousins. hehe.
Hassan and Fahy, I wish you all the best in whatever your lives shall bring you. May you face your trials and tribulations, hand in hand and with a smile on your face. For together, no mountain is unattainable.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Baby, Don't Cry...
NURSES GAG TINY ORPHANS
ORPHAN babies in a hospital were gagged by cruel nurses fed up with their pitiful cries.
A woman patient used her mobile phone to film one tot with his mouth taped and others with dummies tied to their mouths. When she protested, she was told by nurses to mind her own business.
Now a maternity nurse is suspended for “brutally mistreating” the children. The hospital’s chief doctor was reprimanded for negligence.
Patient Elena Kuritsyna discovered the children at the hospital in Yekaterinburg, north west Russia, after hearing their muffled cries.
The hospital said babies were gagged to stop them spitting out dummies and to spare overworked nurses the need to pick the dummies up.
But state prosecutors said: “This was done to make the children behave more quietly.”
Thousands of Russian babies are abandoned by mothers who are HIV positive. Russia has one of the world’s fastest-growing Aids epidemics.
source: mirror
Sometimes I really hate people.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Al Qufi
I told my family that I am going to name my baby "Goofy". It took a while for them to realise that I was joking. Hehe. Right now "Goofy" is a placeholder since we do not want to know the gender of our baby yet. Most probably even after birth I am thinking that the name is going to be stuck of him/her for all eternity.
Night before last, I was chatting to my sister and the first thing she asked me was :-
Sis: Are you really serious about the name "Goofy".
Me: But of course. Don't you like it?
Sis: NOOO.. I don't. Its a cartoon name.
Me: Well... we lke it.
Sis: What does it mean?
Me: ridiculous; silly; wacky; nutty....
Sis: Oh no.. you shoudl find a name that means something nice like "Malak". It means "angel".
Me: nah we like this...
Sis: But shouldn't we be able to write the name in arabic???
Me: Well we are not going to spell it "Goofy"... It will be spelt "Qufi"... Does that look all rite?
Sis: hehehe
Me: mebbe even put "al" in front so... "Al Qufi Wal Hameed"
Sis: hahaha... Now I know you are not serious...
Night before last, I was chatting to my sister and the first thing she asked me was :-
Sis: Are you really serious about the name "Goofy".
Me: But of course. Don't you like it?
Sis: NOOO.. I don't. Its a cartoon name.
Me: Well... we lke it.
Sis: What does it mean?
Me: ridiculous; silly; wacky; nutty....
Sis: Oh no.. you shoudl find a name that means something nice like "Malak". It means "angel".
Me: nah we like this...
Sis: But shouldn't we be able to write the name in arabic???
Me: Well we are not going to spell it "Goofy"... It will be spelt "Qufi"... Does that look all rite?
Sis: hehehe
Me: mebbe even put "al" in front so... "Al Qufi Wal Hameed"
Sis: hahaha... Now I know you are not serious...
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Robbed!
No, I was not robbed. So those of you who clicked here thinking to read a post about me getting robbed can breathe a little bit easier. Or be disappointed. Whichever.
What happened was that when I got to work this morning I could hear the alarm bell going off. I thought at first it was from my workplace but when I came closer I realised it was not coming from there but from another store, two places down. Well, naturally my curiousity drove me to go and investigate a bit further and what I saw was the front window of the store, with a large gaping hole in it. Someone had broken the glass and gone inside. It didnt look like anything had been taken but I dont work there so I dont really know. Could be the alarm going off had scared the thief away.
I waited a couple of minutes debating whether to call the cops or not. What usually happens at my workplace is that when the alarm goes off the cops are ususally notified automatically and they would have come already. Many a time before when I came to work there had been a note on the door saying that the cops had come to check out an alarm. But there was no police here yet.
Then, one of my coworkers showed up and she called the cops. While we were waiting for them to come, I noticed that two of the flagstones on the pavement nearby were missing and when I looked at the broken window, I could see the stones there. The thief had used the stones as a sort of battering ram.
By then the rest of my cowrokers arrived and we were enjoying this bit of excitement that had come into an otherwise routine morning. The cops arrived about five minutes after we called them and they didn't really want to speak to us I suppose. So we left them to their devices and went inside.
When I finished work today, I saw that they had covered the opening with a large aluminium sheet. And they were already open for business. So I guess that it wasn't a really serious robbery. Still that helped wake me up this morning.
What happened was that when I got to work this morning I could hear the alarm bell going off. I thought at first it was from my workplace but when I came closer I realised it was not coming from there but from another store, two places down. Well, naturally my curiousity drove me to go and investigate a bit further and what I saw was the front window of the store, with a large gaping hole in it. Someone had broken the glass and gone inside. It didnt look like anything had been taken but I dont work there so I dont really know. Could be the alarm going off had scared the thief away.
I waited a couple of minutes debating whether to call the cops or not. What usually happens at my workplace is that when the alarm goes off the cops are ususally notified automatically and they would have come already. Many a time before when I came to work there had been a note on the door saying that the cops had come to check out an alarm. But there was no police here yet.
Then, one of my coworkers showed up and she called the cops. While we were waiting for them to come, I noticed that two of the flagstones on the pavement nearby were missing and when I looked at the broken window, I could see the stones there. The thief had used the stones as a sort of battering ram.
By then the rest of my cowrokers arrived and we were enjoying this bit of excitement that had come into an otherwise routine morning. The cops arrived about five minutes after we called them and they didn't really want to speak to us I suppose. So we left them to their devices and went inside.
When I finished work today, I saw that they had covered the opening with a large aluminium sheet. And they were already open for business. So I guess that it wasn't a really serious robbery. Still that helped wake me up this morning.
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